What would you ask?

Apparently, when things never turn out the way it is or when thing starting to get rough and when you are somehow worries about what might become in your future, there is only one thing to do... see a fortune teller. When I was young, I never did actually believe in these fortune yada shit... you know, having your future predicted where else most prediction somehow end up so generic until I myself could even predict my own future. Kind of like, you must beware while driving this year, you would either change job or get a raise this year. Well, not to say that I'm a non-believer but all of these seem so corny. I mean, common... it is been always like a so-called-fashion-trend for people to change job... when you don't get a raise, therefore you leave for a better one and I definitely don't need a crystal ball to tell me that.

However, speaking of which... it is always a friend's friend who always end up with this famous fortune tellers and somehow, the story always sounds so convincing and shame of me to say this, but I think I'm kind of tempted to go myself. Not for any particular reason but with the recent incident happened to me which I didn't know what or how I should feel anymore, I felt that, by knowing some thing out from a fortune teller might at lease ease up a bit of my tension. However, people go to fortune teller because there is something bothering them. For instance, love life, career, money, house wreck and etc, I couldn't help but wonder what I am going to. When I look at my life, it is just like an empty glass, and I didn't know what or where to begin.

Then again, should I go... what if, thing doesn’t turn up like it used to, what if even more bad news or what if, coming out and yet still feeling empty as I was before. Should I worry myself even more? Even if I knew what is going to happen, will I able to change my fate. Fortune teller read our future like reading our destiny diaries where everything is written so clear that it might happen in our future. What if I somehow change my course of direction, will the book show differently from what the fortune teller told me earlier? There is so much possibility in life but in the end, it is worth knowing your future or grab it by the balls and embrace it?

Killing with Question...

There were times, when all I do was just works, works and works. Up until a time, when I start questioning myself, is there more to life than just work. Being myself all this while, I always find it ironic because come to think of it, what would I do if I was not working. I spend most of my weekend doing the same regular thing over and over again up until a certain point, it somehow become my part time job or a fix regular schedule where my body is automatically responded to every single day of my life. In some point, I find that my working life, somehow seems so much meaningful and I felt a sense of direction where I am trying to achieve something special than having spend my time relaxing and achieve nothing at all.

However, having said all that, with all the mix messages and emotional suffering I had with work, I somehow questioning myself back with a lot of questions and somehow, I felt insecure, misleading and unsure what I had become as a person. Having stuck with questions like will I be confirmed, will I get reward accordingly as to what I had delivered, will I able to meet the deadline, did I meet the expectation, will my team perform as they should, are they hating me for what I've done, when should we delivered this module and what should be delayed, what are the risk, is the client happy, am I over stepping the boundaries or am I questioning myself too much? After all the questioning, I couldn't help but wonder...is these suppose to be the task of a new intern programmer?

I keep asking myself why was I pick to lead the team, why was I given the responsibility when my team consist of some senior programmers where else I'm just a junior programmer and why do the company hired me to do something which is clearly not my job title and yet, they trusted me to do it. Should I be proud of myself and be happy with it or keep killing it with questions? Either way, the questions somehow make me even more confuse than ever or have I brought this on myself by assuming too much which supposedly I am not.

Why do most project fail?

In any given situation, I couldn't help but wonder... why do most projects fail or typically why a project couldn't meet its deadline? Was it the technology or was it simply bad project management? In most cases, I always think that project was something straight forward and with a proper planning and scheduling, none of these so called issues would ever occur. Heck, many peoples come out with so many best practices on how to manage a project but yet, why have so many had failed? Given a simple project, one might blame the timeline is short, over workload, bad technology, inexperience and bla bla bla but yet, why can't anyone see that the problem here is the resources itself.

When it comes to project management, to me, it is none other than applying simple common psychology processes with good time management. Even when dealing with huge project and with little resources on hand, still there is a possibility of successfully finishing a project. In a project, psychology plays a huge role in manipulating the resources on hand. Not in a bad way, but lets see it as a team motivation. People are not hard to understand, people are just creature with feeling and a little bit of encouragement might do some wonders. In a project, knowing your teammates and know how to compromise with them is the first step to work together as a team. Build a strong foundation among each other and you will get "Communication" which I think is the key to most things. It is not always about the company, it is not because we are hired to do our stuff or it is not because I have to do it because it is just work, but we do it for the goals and a sense of achievement for both ourselves and to the company. But do we realize that, sadly none of us have.

In most project, it is not just for the sake of finishing it, we must somehow come out with something that have quality and also live up to a certain standard that bring ourselves upfront among other competitor. Do you think that an overload resource might perform well in their work, and even if they manage to finish it on time, do you think the work is quality enough? Where is the sense of time management here? All work and no play make Jack a dull boy and does anyone care about this Jack the dull boy? NO. I find it rather funny when I went for most interviews as a programmer. To most company, they expect programmer to work 24/7 and the usual questions would be "Do you have a problem working late?" First thing that strike my mind is that this company don't have a proper time management for their pitiful staff. Don't get me wrong, I have no problem working late but working 24/7 have make a mockery out of me, making me feel dumb in a way for not able to be as productive as I hope I would be.

When people work late, people tend to complain that they don't have a life, they feel tired, exhausted and de-motivated and to make matter worst, they probably get blame for not being so productive. You see, with this stupid little stuff, I probably think that these dull people would later spend most of their time thinking about leaving the job or probably brain malfunctioning than they would ever participate in a project itself. Because of that, a project got delay for no reason at all. It is always bias when it come to work, there will always be a person who got all the attention and the other which is still stuck in a shadow. This kind mindset which favoring their teammates will cause resources wastage. Yes, I agree that some perform better than other, but would you agree that by having one superman and overload him with the entire task will make his/her work any better or having a superman and share his work loads with his/her other few sidekick will. The resource is there, why not fully utilize it and yet, we blame other issues for project failure. Anyway, I think I talk crap long enough but at least it help me realize some important aspect of being one of the teammate and how one affect one another and how we all work as a team.

Asses are not just for shitting...

On one unfortunate event, I was stuck in the middle of a dancing school. I didn't know how I got there or how my friends trick me there but the fact that I was there. Here in my mid twenties and I am stuck with a bunch of fifties people dancing in a sixties dancing school. It was BAD that I have to tolerate with their version of "getting jiggy" with it” but the fact that the horror of having the experience seeing most grandpas there dress up like some version of John Travolta in "Saturday Night Fever" was more that I can tolerate. There, in the middle of the room... all I can see is a bunch of wood sticking up and down with no move at all. However, it got me thinking... since when sixties come back in style and even so since when elderly people become so hip and happening of all the sudden.

It would seem that dancing school has suddenly become the replacement for "disco" for grandpas and grandmas (Oops... do people still use the word Disco...). What surprise me even more is that my mum too get hook with this so called dancing school and just about an hour ago, she told me that "Asses are not just for shitting but shaking it". Imagine this, your mum used the phrase "shake you booties"... talk about suicide. Then it got me thinking, imagine one hot weekend, when you are feeling hip and trending and ready to go clubbing when your parent too are ready with their "Grease" theme outfit and as ready as you are to go dancing school. That is so weird. I mean no offence. I didn't mean when one go wrinkle up doesn't mean they can't have some fun. It just that, I have certain image of elderly people where it doesn't involve them saying "Cool" or "Shake your booties". Well, I guess that I'm the only mid twenties people that is not so open-minded about this stuff. Heck, I bet that the elderly people nowadays are more hip than I am. Here I am, in my mid twenties working 24/7 and them, boogie all night long.