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Thursday, July 14, 2005

La Situación Me Dejó Triste

Now that I am free from what I though I was trap, I thought that I will be happy or at least able to breathe or have I fall into another trap. Every morning, when I woke up, I couldn't help but wonder, looking into the mirror... those dark circle, those pale skin, those messy hair and most of all, those lips which I couldn't make myself to smile. Although I am free, I felt as if my emotion still tied up with the past and I somehow become desperate.

Looking into the mirror, I didn't know what have I had become or what will I be. Having this feeling, sometimes I wish that I was born without emotion... not able to feel happy, sad, hurt, joy or what-so-ever that is clouding my mind right now. The more I stare into the mirror, I imagine myself punching the mirror, screaming, shave all my hair, cut all my cloths into peices and just trash my entire room but that is just plain stupid and irrational. Instead, I light up a cigarette hoping when I exhale the smoke out, it will take out all my feeling away.

Looking at the mirror...I couldn't help but wonder when I will be truly free... or am I my own trap?

2 Comments:

Anonymous doink! said...

old man, quit your job and come work with me la...sure u're happier. Good pay, good lifestyle and wat's most important is, the gals hehe...

6:18 PM  
Blogger HushNow said...

kanasai.....

6:18 PM  

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