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Friday, June 24, 2005

The Zha Zha Zsu - Depress, Doubt and Not wanting to let Go

Yesterday, as I walked out from my company door, I suddenly felt this huge wave of emotion coming right at me. I felt as if I am being held back and I never wanted to go away and on the same time, being drag away into the sea because I wanted too. I thought I make it clear that it is time for me to move on but still...

I had a box with me when I walked out, and the more step further away and with the picture of me and my colleagues hanging on top of the box, I pause for a moment. It felt like butterflies in my stomach where I know that all of us are going to meet someday, but the feeling of... what if it is not enough or I want more than that or I wanted to be with them forever.

Some people believe that the people we meet in our life are somehow planned in the circle of cosmic relation of our pass life. Kind of like, if I bully this guy in the pass life and in the next life, I will be bully by him. What if, certain karma, love, relation, or companion from our previous life comes back to us in this life but for a fix certain period of our life? Then, will the relationship of me and my colleagues ended here and then see you in next life for another one year and seven month again?

As I look back, I will definitely miss this place and my colleagues. Although it was just one and half years, it looks like the memories of us walking in together was still clear in my mind. The memories of the breakfast, the hang out, the smile, the smoking session, the lunch, the jokes and etc and most importantly, we were there. With the box still in my hand, I look back front and move forward, taking that next step but deep inside, I hope that this is not goodbye...

6 Comments:

Anonymous you could always keep in touch etc, no? said...

you could always keep in touch etc, no?

1:12 PM  
Blogger HushNow said...

yeah..probably will keep in touch... but sooner or later, well.... slowly we will be moving away and further away and bla bla bla... well it depend on the person anyway..hehehe but thanks sarah

1:12 PM  
Anonymous doink said...

what's the internet for old man! although it's been just six months but you will always be remembered haha

1:12 PM  
Blogger HushNow said...

kanasai...u say ma..old man....not update like u young people... dun like technology..hahaha.. and im not old ok...

1:12 PM  
Anonymous glinar said...

ala...i dont really like sms also..hehehe

oh well...how are you doing now dude? :)

1:13 PM  
Blogger HushNow said...

hey glinar... im doin fine here..haha... why sms when u can meet up and tyalk like crazy fella..haha.. right??

1:13 PM  

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