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Friday, January 14, 2005

I want to kill myself...

Lately, everything seem to be falling apart and it is making me sad and worst of all, all I want to do is take a knife and cut myself.

I hate my life.

I hate the feeling of loneliness every time I go back home.

I hate that my car is dirty.

I hate that I‘m broke now.

I hate my job (there I said it).

I hate my colleagues for making me sad.

I hate my colleagues for treating me like dirt.

I hate my colleagues force me to do something I hate.

I hate the feeling of guilt if I told my colleagues that they hurt me.

I hate my colleagues that always left me behind when I was always there for them.

I hate my colleagues for looking down on me.

I hate my colleagues for criticizing me when they ask me for a favor.

I hate my colleagues for being insensitive.

I hate myself for not being able to catch up to other.

I hate that I am stupid.

I hate myself for not able to pass my degree.

I hate myself for being fat person.

I hate myself for letting other so easily used me.

I hate when I heard that my mum is sick.

I hate when my mum scold me.

I hate when people never accept me for who I am.

I hate to live up to other expectation.

I hate being depressed all the time.

I hate the company management for putting me in pressure.

I hate when I have nothing to do.

I hate myself for not able to be independent.

I hate myself for being childish all the time.

I hate myself for being too sensitive over small stuff.

I hate myself for not able to be happy.

I hate that people didn‘t appreciate me for the things I done for them.

I hate everything…

Ok… now if I can find a knife…I‘m going to cut myself now and I‘m happy to hurt myself now. I need help.

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