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Thursday, January 27, 2005

Feeling Un-appreciated!!!

There come a time, when I could wish that everything could stop for a moment for me to grasp that little moment in time to breathe in and let all my thoughts out. It seems like every where I look, people around me gets great review, promotion, appreciation or even bonus. However, when I look at myself, I didn‘t have any single thing but a bunch of working experiences which is not even qualify to even say out loud. Why do people work? Was it for the money, interest, knowledge or just because we want a better future? People keep telling me that getting all this so-called appreciation was unnecessary, and do what you do best, get what you want, be happy, plan for your future and a whole bunch more. But seriously, are reviews, appreciation, reward, or even promotion, is it that important?

To me, at some part, I hate to admit that I do really want all that. Who doesn‘t? So, there is part where knowledge is everything, but at certain level, I wanted to feel appreciated. My company promises a lot of thing but never once ever fulfill it and I somehow stupidly end up with load of expectation and end up with full of disappointment. I spend most of my time working in this company because I take pride in my work although it doesn‘t really interest me much. I have a thing doing a job and will perform my best to achieve the goals. Last year, my HR manager told me that the company couldn‘t justify my presence in this company and I remember this phrase until this very days and promise myself that I would do everything I can to prove I‘m worthy enough as my other colleagues.

Today, although technically speaking, I‘m still way behind from them, but I found myself in another road where I can prove that I can excel in other stuff and I did it and happy with the achievement I‘ve done. If this is what it takes for the company to justify my presence, so be it but it would seem that others had taken credits for the work I‘ve done. I have my own share of workload and it would seem fair that the company could at least give me something in return. At least so I will fert appreciated or motivated to perform my jobs. However, it got me thinking after hearing some advice from my colleagues and friends, why it is that I always seem to believe all the negative thing people say about me. Although there much evidence to prove on the contrary, how is that a review, non appreciation, works could cancel every single though I once though was true. I, when it comes to work, why do I always seem to fear about my worst review.


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