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Monday, May 24, 2004

New House, Old News

Finally, after suffering almost 6 month living in a dumpster, I finally found a place which I can call home. Moving there take a lot of commitment and also a problem because I own a lot of stuff and I have to cut my telephone line (* which is so sad) and try to suit myself with the new environment. Anyway, last weekend was restless. Not only that I am excited to move but shifting there and start cleaning was a nightmare. It was spring cleaning again which I didn't mind but deep down inside me, I feel kind of regret moving into such a big house where the cleaning seems endless. Speaking of endless, it would seem that endless cleaning the whole place was irritating enough for me but I have to suffer from endless complaining from my housemate as well. So I get the message, but does it have to keep on repeating endlessly until today. I am tired too and I haven?t bath for whole day and I am sticky, sweaty and uncomfortable, but to continued hearing people poking me was simply bad enough. I couldn?t help but wonder, was it me that wanted to move out from a student house, but why do I move in with a student? Again, later we all start applying rule and regulation which is utterly unnecessary. The question lies, why we need rules when the rules are meant to be broken. We been staying there only for 3 days and the rules have been changes endlessly. People say that we should be more considerate among each other and I been fighting to prove that "friend that live together, will become enemy forever" are wrong but it would seem that I'm challenging the fate itself. Knowing that I will loose terribly and face the fact that this would happen eventually. How do we expect to considerate where else other don?t. Again, it would seem that choices that we all made are basically our own choices but why do I get the feeling that I am guilty over the choice that they made and have to make up for it where I don?t see the point of making them happy and suffer for myself. I have made a choice moving here and start new and fresh. I like coming home and park my car on my porch and walk up to my fully furnish kitchen and to my room, where it is nicely decorated by me and enjoy a cool bath in my bath tub. Is this so much to ask for. Why does the bad memory keep on repeating itself and haunt me wherever I go. I have already stopped running and stand at the point where I am tired of running anymore. Will that mean that the bad memory already catch up to me and eaten me up?


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