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Sunday, January 11, 2004

Bitterness of life!!!

I’m sitting motionless and my mind was floating dancing in the mist of curiosity of life and how my mind strike to how pathetic my life is. I often wonder why thee bow to the existent of life and for what propose the mother of all creation bring thee to this lifeless and miserable world and what master plan that she had store for thee. Even so, I always thought that I was something, someone who will at least contribute something to the world or someone who will lead people that I hold dear to a bright endless future. Prideful of me, I was blinded by the truth, laugh by reality and bitterness welcome me with wide open arm. Still I move on, lying to myself that somehow there must be a kindred-spirit within each soul that at least have some place for me to call home in their heart. I realize now, mostly that wherever or whenever I go,I’ll be qualifying enough NOT to be either part of their soul or spirit but an external tools which whenever they feel like using me or there is a need for me, then I will be useful for them. It hurt and I pity god, for they face the same treat from the soulless human or should I blame god for not given them a heart.Whichever, I find that this life is meaningless; the only journey that I long crave for or believe is but only the journey toward sorrow and hatred. Maybe there is a brighter good or I was too busy feeling pathetic for myself to see it or realize it or have the eternity of darkness smile upon me.

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