Friends...Worth it or not?

In every lifetime, we often seek compatibility, we seek someone who is common to us, the person who have the similar interest or topic to talk to. But then again, people is always people (that what im been told). So what is the point of having a group of friends or a best friend where it is for temporary period of time only. I dont see the point of having tons of good memories and end up suffering for seperation. People move on, people will end up going to their desire path and fren comes and fren goes. HOwever, speaking of compatibility, why do some of us force ourself to compatible to those not compatible wit us. Why care for those who didnt care about us. People always hunger for something new but do this implies for this situation. Why do we go all the trouble of making other happy but suffer for own self. Sometimes, we can turn back and try to make thing better but mostly we are not that lucky to get second chances. Sometime, the cut is too deep until there is no turning back but why do we still continue to strive or fight for what we truely believe wherelese that believe is nothin but a dream that will not come true. Are all this sacrify to keep wat we believe truly worth it. It is worth it to have a friend who you tought was something speacial to have but you are nothing toward them. In the end, why need a fren where it will only increase the amount of enemies in your own list...

Lonely Christmas....

It was that day again, i always get restless the few day before any occasion happen. For Christmas, i will non-stp buy cloth for myself just to look good and buy presant for those close to me and plan wat will i and the gang do for the christmas eve. Yesterday night, the least expected, i didnt receive any call from the gang, i try message them but there was no return. Ends up i stay home alone. Pethetic as it sound, but at least i got a christmas presant from my roomate and his girlfren. I was happy but not as happy as i wanted to be. i open the wrapping and found two bottle of wine and a call from my roomate. He wanna check whether i like the presant or not and was surpise to find me at home and sadly i find out that the gang was celebrating the christmas without me. I try to lie to my roomate and say that i was sick and tired and i would like to stay at home. when i hang up, i just sat on my bed and was pretty down. i wish i never found out but wat can i say, truth always appear on it own when the time least expected.i didnt drink the wine, instead i just sit infront of my pc and watch "Sex and the City" series. at least i got 4 beutiful women celebrate christmas wit me. Today, yet another boring day, i dunnu wat will im goin to do or wat will i expect (i wont be expecting any call from my gang tho)...anyway..merry christmas to you all out there in the world who read my weblog and have a happy new year....

Time to change new shoe.....

when i woke up this morning, i felt emptiness for the first time in this 6 month...everything was so quite and it felt good. it is just like 7 month ago before i actually have roomate, but back then, i will wake up fill with exciement and i will immediately stood up and play some hip-pop song and do nothin but dancing. Today, i resurrect myself and it felt good...today i was free. Then something else came, i met my ex-best-fren, we were havin lunch. Ending our frenship was hard enough for me, but for him, it was totally a different thing... he was insensitive.. we hang out with some of our fren today thinking that i might enjoy it and start again. But foolish of me, i was caught up wit the pass and my mood on that very instance, Gone...i didnt spoke much today...opps...excuse moi, i didnt speak at all....nobody notice. my ex-best-fren say callin me out was like forcing me wherelse he is the wan ignoring me...today i lost myself, one of my fren say i should depress over it and suggest that i should move on and he is right but saying is easy than done. Today i learn my lesson, why should i depress over such stuff wherelse i should focus on something tat i still have beside me. it is just like, if ur shoe is bad, change it...im sure most of us have lots of pair..just wear something that fit nicely and not wear something tat doesnt suit. So from now onward, im changing my shoe and im goin to parade and walk proudly and be as wat i am and not wat other wan me to be....and im getting a new shoe tomolo

KIll me!!!

Okie...so there is a problem *BIG TIME*. not that we didnt saw it but simply put it, we just deny it. So, as always, i take the first initiative to speak up and apologise. I did everything, sorry, please forgive me, what happen, can we talk about it...u name it..and guess what i get in return..."SOrry, not ur fault, my fault!! what is this shit. im tryin to solve thing here not blamin u and i notice that most guy like to keep "thing" to themselve and later they will keep everything from u later avoid u. What is this so called attitude, are u tryin to be macho. Then i would most probably like to dedicate this song "SON OF A GUN" from janet jackson to u all macho-wannabe. "U probably think this song is about u, Dont u, Dont u" but guess wat, "This song is NO-WHERE u". MY GOD, seriously...how shallow are u. U the MR.GOODDY GOODDY keep think of wat people said and wat people might think and u blindly accept what they say. hav u ever think of how i feel and to judge me for thing i didnt done.If i had a virgina for everytime this event happen, i probably think i need multiple version of u to fuck me up...period... One more pointer, so we always hangout together, but if u the mr>SO-SENSITIVE to think that everything tat i do is ur responsibility, then hell wit u. i dont care shit about ur responsibility. Finally, if everytime u wan to blame me for thing i do that doesnt concern u. kill me better, pleaaassseee..i beg of u.

Issit Time to Shave or DEAR GOD "Make-up"!!!

In todays market, the amount of men's beauty product is comparable to women's. Simply put it this way, the marketing people is clever enough to know that nowaday men in this era do look after their appearance. Im not complainin but curious. Men always wait for women for hour to make-up, will it be the women's turn to wait for men. I have a few guy fren that really buy tons of cosmetic just to look good and they are 100% straight (*Surprisingly). Not only that they are V.A.I.N, but they do know lot of good beauty product compare to my gal fren. The part that i hate the most is when they used the bathroom. i dunnu wat the hell they do inside, no water sound no nothin ...zip..but i can tell u, there are lots of cosmetic smell (Uwek). Another thing to remark, espeacially pointed to all my fren that really "Make-up"...they are soo typical. OK so they dont look good, but stupidity of them to think the miracle of make-up can hide it. COMMON people, u are not some super holliwood star...GET A LIFE!!!

Issit time to say goodbye!!!

In reality, people come and people goes. People break-up and move on with their life. For those who couldnt put down I awalys think tat it is kinda silly but i felt different when it struck me. A person who i care the most is movin away and i was left wit nothin but memories. During our time together, we share almost anything and would make million of jokes just to simply waste our time. It was a good time. Fate have brought us together but time have betray me. Trough time, our relationship bcom worst. We rarely spoke to each other and even if there is a chance to make it better, there is always some barrier that stop us. I wouldnt blame anything else but myself. I did so many thing, been too many place at the wrong time and make the wrong decision. All wat is left is i myself destroy everything and there is no way back to solve it. In few more days, the person i care the most will move on. Is this the time to say goodbye and move our own path and never look back. Will i ever move on...is this the end.....

Living in a lie!!!

Isnt a wonder how a person can actualy change the way u think and feel toward certain thing and how it impact your life greatly.Hav u ever felt tat bein wit them is all u can ask for and tat u will giv just about anythin just to keep them close to u.Even if they dissapoint u in so many ways and yet just a glance of their face, u will for forgive them.Hav u ever felt lonely and wish they will call u up or even message but they never did. Or have u ever felt the only fren u have is only the picture in ur photo album.Thinking how happy it was during that kodak moment although knowing that in real life, they will never smile to u or talk to u. Hav u ever felt that u have so many wonderfull thing that u wan to share with them but they didnt care.Such shame that how it turn so beautiful when both started out and turn ugly in the end. Such fool to think that i can make them happy but only sorrow to both of us.How many time do we have to say sorry for all the thing we done. Do you know how hurt it is to hear such word falling from your mouth. I may be naive,and stupid but i still can see what you have been tru. The boat we're on is sinking and yet we lie ourself to move on.After all this years, it would be a lie if i tell u that wat i done most is not bcos of u. Do u know how i feel, cos i dont think u know it.But still, deep down inside, i wish tat we still remain together but would tat mean im living in a lie.

Another day with ASP...

Dream....was it something that people cross over at night and gone the next day or was it something that lead people to achieve their desire dream. Well of course it all deped on the willingness of the person to do it or not. My dream was to be a designer. i like to picture myself holding firmly to the mouse like a samurai to their sword and start slashin endlessly and start paint my world with my creativity. im the type of person who would like to give people my message on how my world look like. Instead, my hand was nowhere near the mouse where else my finger was dancing walt on the keyboard itself and my mind being preoccupied with the art of war on how to solve a simple ASP coding. HOw far can i really go or have i reach the end point and nowhere to turn to. Will my mind go back to find it peace and start re-paint my world as it used to be or will it be black, empty and nothin but REGRET......

To Trust Or Not To Trust..tazzit the QUEStioN!!!

Trust!...a small, simple word, easily said but not easilly done. People can simply say "I trust U" but does the word that come out from their lips equal to what they mean. Even so, "Trust" is just a word. Wats matter most is the ties to that word itself tat implies. However, will there be any trust when lies, betray and dissapointment come into the picture. Are trust that fragile until it is so easy to call off within a second. Anyhow, is there a way to build back the Trust? But in the end, is Trust worth having knowing the consequences is in the hand of Fate itself....

SLAP ME!!! Im Frappuccino.....

Funny, how most typical people would predictabily act toward certain things. Take for instance, whenever a person hits the jackpot, they will probably think "IM SO DAMN FUCKIN LUCKY", but when they fell into a shit hole, "LIFE" is always to blame. To me,my life would always be "Frappuccino!"....meaning, it is always cold, shaky, full of doubt, mostly "HELL" of the time, excitement but in the end it always sweet and simple. Couldnt blame me to think such a way cos, frankly speaking...im virgin toward everything...well sort off...So now tat FRAPPUCCINO is in da house and ready to FRAP-U-KNOW-Who and CCINO-U-KNOW-WAT, im gonna Rummba tru ur HELL-HOLE. So take ur pants off and SHAKE IT!!! cos in the end... "LIFE WILL ALWAYS BE DULL, ONLY IF U LET IT"